HOMELESS

We are no longer homeowners in the traditional sense! Now that we have officially closed on our house, I am more and more eager to move on to the boat. However, she is not yet ready...she sits dry docked at a marina being worked on and readying herself for a new motor which goes in next week. We will be down to the wire for arriving at Portland Yacht Services on October 10th for our bon voyage party...

Meanwhile, I am still sifting through piles and preparing mentally at my dear friend's home...also the mother of Blake's best friend...all of which means we are having one crazy wonderful time.

Freedom to travel and explore has come at a price. But, we are feeling a slight delirium at the future prospect of no mortgage payments, credit card bills, etc.etc.etc...

Family and friends begin to become simultaneously terrified and excited as our departure draws closer. I start to have nightmares of pirates and canned spams as large as our boat...

As with any crucial moment in life, you ask yourself how you possibly ended up at this decision...at this adventure...at this finesse or folly...

A straight line connecting the dots never seems evident to me. It's more of a tangled, confusing, beautiful destiny ball that I hope one day to fathom.

I do understand that this journey is a rare opportunity to connect with my family and my self apart from the daily spinning of my suburban gerbil wheel. I've hopped of and am confused by that lack of routine even though it made me feel slightly sick.

Dreams that I had in my youth have also begun to resurface and I regard who I have become, how I define myself, in a new light. A longer, more honest gaze is less forgiving than the sideways glance which I used to momentarily throw.

Then again, maybe all of this sentiment has more to do with a mid-life crisis then with our journey...Referred to as the wrong side of forty by another woman is bound to put any sane female in to a funk...Of course, while men typically regress into adolescent behavior, we women use middle age as a catalyst for dream search and recovery missions, advanced self growth, and enlightened awareness...Right?!

So, bring on the boat, baby...I'm ready for my voyage to begin...

Of course, before we get to that point, I'm sure I'll have many more tangents and questions answered like...Why do they call the toilet on a boat the head...How is it possible to feed a fussy eight year old gourmand out of a can or freeze dried ration??? Will we smell like musty sneakers for days on end...Will Edna and Gigi look like slow moving sausages once they don their life preservers??? Can there really only be one captain...How will I survive my toddlers tantrums with no hot bath to run to????